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"* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of LarryOne hot summer day, Bruce came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the pub for a cold one.Some 20 minutes later, a cop entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside... ?"Bruce called out, "It's mine, mate." Your dog seems to be in heat," the cop said.Bruce replied, "No way.. "As she writhed and twisted against me, I somehow managed to tuck the rear waistband of her school skirt into her knickers, very gently, I eased the ribbed leg of her knickers aside, making her gasp,"What are you going to do, Donny?"Hoping I wasn't pushing my luck too far, I almost whispered, "I want to fuck you, Honey, I want to put my prick inside the leg of your knickers and inside your hot wet little pussy."I felt her body tense for a few moments then she sighed, "Yes, yes, Ooooooooohhhhhhh, yes, do it, fuck me, fuck your little 16 year old netball playing friend," then, almost as an after thought, she added, "You can cum inside me, I... I'm on the pill for medical reasons."You would have to be in the position I was right then to appreciate just what a massive turn on it was, fucking a little 16 year old schoolgirl who has just told you can cum inside her!!!Neither of us said anything as I eased the ribbed leg of her bottle green knickers to one side and started rubbing the.
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